March 25.

Today would have been the day you would have known this blog. This time last year, you were getting drunk, pouring your heart out to your friends on why you always seem to be the one left behind. Although it was you who left me earlier that day. You left me at Makati, so I left the Philippines. Simple quid pro quo.

I thought you'd disappear, because it wouldn't make sense staying in love with someone several light years away. I told you not to promise me anything and even if you did, I wouldn't hold you to it. I was being realistic, I know what time and distance can do. I was disbelieving when you said you'll wait for two years, that I'll slap into your face the blog you've written if you can't stay true to that. I remember laughing at that time, not at you, but because I thought you were crazy.

Why me? Why me of all people?

I've asked myself that many times--and I still do--because you could be with anyone there. There are thousands of single, gay guys in the metro looking for at least one of the three Ls--love, lust, or labels. I wasn't looking for anything at that time because I was also L--leaving. I knew my realities enough not to expect anything beyond what is typical.

The last thing I want anyone to do for me was to wait. When I left I didn't make any promises to anyone, including you. Choices come with an opportunity cost. And I thought in a few months of being away from Manila, everyone would have moved on, separately, with their lives. Strangely enough, though, you were still there hanging, literally, to some rope and shouting that you love me. Even when I was holding back, even when I had all these walls built around me. Even through whatever issues I got myself into--from the Twitter posts, to the blogs, to people threatening to come over. I told you once that you were like Scott Pilgrim vs the world.

You could have found someone else anytime. You could have moved on and given up at some point. And I wouldn't blame you. But you didn't.

I'd like to think about this, how our choices play out in our lives, today of all days. March 25 has always been meaningful to me long before I knew you. In my holier days, I wanted this day to be the day that I'll be ordained, if ever I get that far in priesthood. I use this day to think about where my choices had taken me. All the ones I've said "yes" to and the ones I've said "no".

This would have been the day I would have said, yes I want to be with you. And yes, I love you. But it's been preempted almost three months back. I knew I love you even before I told you I did. So I thought it wouldn't matter what day anymore, as long as I get to tell you. There was no reason to wait it out till today to tell you something just so the date would be significant for both of us. If there's anything I'd like to tell you now is that I love you more than before. Through the distance and time apart we've spent, it has only grown stronger. When I think about how you could love me despite being a million miles away, it makes me feel so L--lucky.